Alex

I've mentioned Alex before. He was the reason (well; sort of) for my obituary I wrote a few months back. I also talked about him in our newsletter if you get that (You should; it's great when we get round to writing one). I have been coaching Alex on a course organised by Agapé's Workplace Initiative, looking at the "Habits of the Heart" - our deepest connections and convictions. It's a great course, but I'm not always a great coach.

My role was to walk Alex through some areas of growth and development that we'd identified, but all this dabbling around in the inner self tends to lead to talking about the spiritual dimension. This is the reason Alex and I ended up in Starbucks talking about prayer for three hours instead of our 'official' coaching appointment (writing a life map for one hour).

I really like Alex. He's a deep thinker and I was happily pummeled with questions I've never even considered asking before. I'd be delighted to tell you the tales of that conversation next time we see each other. We did, however, leave on the note that Alex was really interested in becoming a Christian....he just didn't quite believe in God, which, you have to admit is a bit of a hurdle in the whole "being a Christian" thing.

We chatted and texted a few times over the next few weeks, but didn't manage to actually arrange to see each other until we were due at the next 'Habits of the Heart' group session. The session was the final one of the course and each participant had to give a 5 minute presentation on a personal issue related to the course. It was because I had our last conversation in my mind that it completely blew my socks off to find out that Alex's chosen topic for his presentation was titled "My recent conversion to Christianity".

We met up a couple of days ago to talk through this spiritual leap he'd taken, which in his mind was no leap at all, but just a quiet recognition of what God had been doing in his life. Over quite a while, as it happens. It started when he was 11 yrs old with a friend's father chatting to him in McDonalds about who was in the 'driving seat' of his life and ended (or started for real?) with a drive down the M6 when it 'all seemed to come together'.

There are many things that bring joy in life, but seeing someone take this step into a full-on relationship with God is just the best thing in the world.

A Tale of Two Weekends

The last 2 weekends have been a reminiscing rollercoaster. One we’d been looking forward to for months, one you wish you never have to face.

The first was a reunion of our youth group we led in Whitley Bay 20 years ago. It was fantastic with most of our core crew showing up.

The afternoon was filled with tales of children and parents, houses and moves, successes and sadnesses and re-telling the tales of days gone by when we were slimmer and had more hair (to be fair, that was mainly me, actually). It was also that scary mix of tales that I’d happily forgotten over the years, coming back to haunt with photographic evidence (and in one notorious case of me starring in the production of Joseph and the Amazing Technicolored Dreamcoat, video evidence!)

This place was where Lesley and I ‘cut our teeth’ in ministry and youth work. We made our best mistakes with that group and (in the days before health and safety really kicked in) had some of our most reckless fun. For many that had allowed grown-up-hood to creep up on them it was a very warm reminder of the way life was and should be.

Spiritually, the end of our time in Whitley Bay had been a sadness that has lived with me for years, as we saw many of that group strong in faith, gradually drift away or dramatically run from God after we left. But 15 years sometimes makes a lot of difference in eternity, and hearing the tales of those that had found their way back again, warmed the heart more than anything else. There’s still more to go. Do pray for the prodigals.

The second weekend was the memorial service of a friend of ours, a peer from Lesley’s Church youth group, who was killed in a car crash last month. After many years of loosing touch, we had just reconnected with Stephen at his brother’s wedding in the summer, only to be tragically disconnected from him last month until we meet him again one day.

Although the circumstances and primary emotions were completely opposite, the experience was remarkably similar. Familiar, but older faces, stories and recollections being shared for the first time in years. It was a gathering of the scattered Clan coming back together to mourn and celebrate. It was highly significant to hold it on Remembrance Day. Stephen was a passionate history teacher with a special fondness for the war years, so coming together to remember him on this Remembrance Day was very special.

I am very thankful to God for these people he has put in our lives. Looking back on who we have become over the years has reminded me again how much God has used these people to shape that journey and shape me. I find myself unusually overwhelmed by God’s grace in the quality of people he has surrounded me with over the years. It’s a funny thing to forget how much you miss someone until you see them.

3 Books

This summer was an active one, even for me: 5 weeks, 3 continents, 9 beds, 11 aeroplanes. I do a lot of reading when I’m flying, but its actually other people’s reading that has impacted me over the summer (admittedly, a while ago now!). I thought I'd tell you about 3 of the books being read by folk I met in planes.

The first book I came across was as I was loitering at the back of a Boeing 777, hoping to grab a coffee (nice, drinkable coffee was clearly beyond my expectations, but something warm and brown). The book was "The Purpose Driven Life" by Rick Warren and was being waved fairly animatedly by one cabin crewmember at another. Seeing as they were clearly not about to get up and get me a coffee, I thought I'd gatecrash the conversation. Crewmember A was telling crewmember B how the book had transformed her life, which is not the kind of superlatives you normally hear from a Brit when describing a book. I'd read the book a few years back and remembered a few chunks of it that I liked (a couple of which I even managed to find!). I never did get my coffee, but about 15 minutes later crewmember A had secured a promise from B to take the book and read it.


The second book to grab my attention was being read by a seat 7b occupant (see June 19th) and was titled “Buddhism: plain and simple”. I got chatting to the woman who turned out to live a few miles from me in Birmingham. We meandered our way onto talking about faith and she told me she was Catholic. I remarked that her book intrigued me and she started to explain how she was thinking that Buddhism might be a great way for her to find peace. I asked how that fitted with her Catholicism and whether Jesus, the prince of Peace, might be another route here. She was truly surprised, as she’d never considered her Christian faith to be capable of such things (or that their might be inconsistencies in bolting-on Buddhism to it). Although I’m no Buddhism expert, we had a great chat about the peace I have found.



My third book was being read by a 6ft 10 pro-basketball player en-route from Texas to Germany (do they play basketball in Germany??). It was “the Shack” (if you’ve not read it, you’re a rarity and a dying breed). I risked the question “who bought it for you?” (statistically 8 out of 10 copies of ‘the shack’ have been bought, often in bulk, to give to someone else or to strategically leave in coffee shops). His surprised look revealed I’d hit the mark. He’d been given it by a mentor who had been a friend of the family since childhood. This man had taken him to church when he was a child but he had since drifted away, never really having come to faith. Without spoiling the book, we talked about his perceptions of God and Jesus, his disappointments in life and how God meets us in these circumstances. Although he wasn’t ready to throw his all in with God there and then, he was on the journey. I prayed for him there and then and would love it if you joined in the fun, for all three of my new friends. Thanks.

The Big Five

It was certainly unexpected, but we ended up in Namibia and South Africa as a family this summer. In one of those bizarre Agape-lifestyle situations, we couldn’t afford a proper holiday, so we go to Africa instead! (the joy of collecting air-miles!)

Many folk go to South Africa and Namibia to see “the big 5” – a (seemingly variable) group of animals that used to be sought out for hunting, but now most of the shooting is done through long-lensed cameras. We, however, were there for a different “big 5” reasons.

1) Agape UK sent out some staff to live in Namibia last year, and Lesley had the privilege of paying them a visit 8 months in, to see how they were getting along. Geoff and Caroline are good friends of ours and although it was a ‘work’ visit it was such a joy to base ourselves from their home for the 3 weeks we were there, and share a bit of their lives. They’re having a great time and a great ministry and we loved being with them.

2) We timed the visit to coincide with a celebration of the 10th anniversary of the Namibian ministry. As Agape UK staff members (a couple now back on Lesley’s team) established the work in Namibia it was very special to be representing the UK at the celebration week.

3) Paul needed to visit the South African ministry (South Africa is next door to Namibia if you’re still trying to place it!) to help them evaluate and asses some of their work. The ministry have had a tough time over the past few years and as is often is the case, Paul’s role ended up being more of a listening ear than anything else. If you’re the praying type, do ask God to heal and restore and cause the ministry to thrive amidst a turbulent social and political situation.

4) Our regional office for Southern and Eastern Africa is also in Pretoria and as there is a transition of leadership in Human Resources, Paul wanted to meet up with the out-going leader to de-brief and plan some of the transition. Like many places in the world, leaders are hard to come by for this vital role and it will be a while before we find a permanent solution.

5) the last of our ‘big 5’ reasons was for Paul to meet with the HR leader in Namibia to give a bit of training. This didn’t happen. Niina and her husband had been considering adopting a child for a while, but hadn’t taken any decisive steps forward in it. However, the Friday before Paul and Niina were to meet up, she ‘bumped into’ someone she knew form the adoption agency who asked her to fill in the adoption papers and bring them into the office on Monday as they had a baby she just knew would be perfect for them. They took them in Monday morning and by midday, the baby was in their arms and on her way home with them, amidst the chaos of getting everything you need for a new baby. (I’d love to tell you the complete story when I see you next!). This has to rank as my favourite reason ever for cancelling a training day!

We did get to do the sights (and some of the other big 5) for a few days whilst we were there, which was so much fun (If you’re friends with Charis on Facebook, I’m sure you’ve seen the photos!) A few years ago, we never would have dreamed of some of the situations we would find ourselves in but are so grateful for these surprising things we find ourselves doing!

seat 7b

Paul: People often ask me how they can pray for me. I always need wisdom and feel like lack it most of the time, so that's always near the top of the list. Safety for the family as I travel also ranks pretty high, but when it comes to opportunities to bless other people, I always get folk to pray for whoever is sitting in seat 7b on flight CO26/27 to and from Birmingham when I'm making my usual trip to the US.

I always (to a point that borders on obsession) sit in seat 7a (good legroom, window, quick exit), so whoever is in 7b will be stuck with me for at least 7 hours, so i always pray I'll have an opportunity to bless them in some way as we travel together. I thought I'd tell you about the 7b-ers on my flights last week.

On my way out, I was sat next to Derek, who writes course materials for university distance learning. I really wish I'd listened more closely when he told me his subject as my lack of attention (and knowledge of high-tech / engineering type things) meant I was lost in the conversation for the next hour. I don't think Derek noticed. We moved from talking about his work to mine and (inevitably) onto faith. Derek was a very cynical atheist. I never cease to be surprised that conversations like this start off in the scientific realm, but often the cynicism and emotion come from the more relational issues about "christians" they have met. It was no Damascus road experience (blinding flashes are rarely welcomed at 37,000 feet, I suppose) but by the time we landed in Newark, Derek had changed just a little. Paul's words in 2 Corinthians 5 always ring loud in my head during conversations like this. If we are ambassadors in the "ministry of reconciliation" that we've been called to, then our words, actions and interactions have the power to either bring a person closer or further away to that reconciliation. Please pray for Derek, that he bumps into more people that will take him further on his journey of reconciliation.

On my way home, Maria was sitting in 7b. When I told her who I worked for, she said "oh, I've supported them before". That was a first. As we got talking I found out that she went to church but wasn't "one of those born again Christians". However, her nephew was and had been involved with our organisation at a US university and had gone on a project to Russia with us a couple of years ago and Marie had sponsored him. I asked her what the difference was between her and her nephew's faith. She explained it was all a matter of priority. I think she had it pretty spot-on. We chatted quite a bit about priorities and what was important in life: relationships rather than things, home rather than work and little of the eternal rather than the temporary. She concluded her nephews priorities might be worth another look at.

Quo Vadis?

Dear Friends

I have just returned from a great week in Rome where I was helping to lead the training & development of emerging European leaders.  (You may remember that last September I was with these people in Ethiopia.)  

I was struck afresh by the wonderful quality of people on this course not the least shown by the love they have for Jesus, one another and the people of Europe who don't yet know Jesus and their commitment to taking Jesus to these people whatever it takes. It was humbling to be in the city of Rome where countless Christians in history have devoted their lives, both in life & death, to making Jesus known.  

Our time together was finished in a very old little chapel just outside the city walls where allegedly St Peter, who was fleeing the city for his life, met Jesus going the other way.  Peter asked Jesus 'Domine, Quo Vadis?' - 'Lord, Where are you going?' and Jesus replied that he was going to Rome because Peter was leaving.  Peter responded by immediately returning to Rome where he was to eventually give his life as a martyr.  

As we sat in the chapel and considered Peter's alleged encounter with Jesus we were profoundly struck by this question for ourselves.  Quo Vadis?  Where are we going?  Will we go back to the cities of Europe we have come from with the commitment to making Jesus known even though it is hard and fruit is often scarce? We each responded, many through tears.  

So, now I find myself back in Birmingham & I ask myself 'How will I make Jesus known today?'

With love & appreciation for you all

Lesley

P.S. Forgive my Latin grammar if it's not accurate!

The Old Man of Youth Work

25 Years. I just worked it out, so I thought I'd tell you. I sort of started youth work when I was 16 running a Friday night "coffee bar" (with no coffee, but netting on the ceiling, scary coloured lighting and music that was "too loud" apparently) so that makes it 25 years I've been involved in youth work. It seems weird now that I was only a full-time youth worker for 6 or 7 of those years, as it still feels so much who I am.

The thing is, I still love it. I keep wondering if I'm just too old for this now. Shouldn't I be kicking around with grown-ups a bit more? The truth is (and my apologies to anyone reading who considers them self a grown up) most grown ups are just too........ 'grown up', I suppose. I like most of them in moderation, but teenagers are just fun. They're rude about my lack of hair, they eat all my biscuits, they won't go home when I tell them, they ask difficult or just plain inappropriate questions (and all those things just this past week) but I love it.

I've never really been one for the wacky games and stuff (The youth team at Olton know I hate organising the games nights!) but the chance to sit and chat and work through issues and see folk grow in their spiritual understanding and walk with God is just the best fun I have.

Last week i was sorting through some pre-historic paperwork in our study and, in the process, spent far too long looking at old newsletters we'd written. It was so good to look back, remember names and faces of teenagers from the past; folk who'd wandered into our lives for a little while then wandered onto adulthood. It's such a joy and privilege to have been involved in so many lives in this way. A number of them are kind enough to get in touch along the way and reflect back fondly on "those days". Some even articulate the ways that we helped in walking that part of the journey with them (often quite unbeknown to us). A couple of weeks back I had a stack of folk that we worked with when we were in schools work track us down on Facebook. It was so good to hear what they've been up to, what and who they've become and in a few cases where they are at on the spiritual journey we spent hours talking about all those years ago. Youthwork is often a thankless and bitter-sweet experience, but it gets addictive!

For those of you that pray, please do pray for the current batch we are involved with. "Youth @ Olton Baptist" (YOBs) meet on a Sunday eve and "xlr8" is a smaller group of them that meet at ours on a Thursday eve to get into the nitty gritty of their faith. Thanks folks.

Obituary

Paul: One of the teams we have in the UK works alongside members of the business community in Birmingham to help them develop personally and grow in their understanding of their spiritual journey. I've been involved (when I'm in the country) for a few years now and am currently involved in a course called "Habits of the Heart". It is designed for those of faith or not "to help you rediscover a sense of balance, purpose, integrity and spiritual energy in the midst of a busy working life" and it's great fun!. I'm coaching a guy named Alex who owns and runs a Chinese restaurant. Alex isn't a Christian, but is very open to talking about issues of faith and the things that draw him towards God and those that push him away.

One of the exercises we both undertook last week was to write our obituaries. It's a really helpful exercise in getting you to reflect on how you want your life to be remembered and therefore how this should be reflected in your priorities right now. Having rather unwisely put my 'Facebook' status as "Paul is finalising his obituary" last week, (and got appropriate "what??!!!!" responses back) I agreed to post my obituary here for you to read. It still feels a little unfinished, but I'm not planning on using it for a while! All comments or thoughts gratefully received! You may want to have a go yourself......

Here goes:

"Although as a boy he never showed much aspiration, through his late teenage years, Paul had a growing passion and desire to make an impact on the world he lived in. Birthed in the frustrations of his time in the insurance world and growing during his years as a youth worker, this passion found an unexpected home for a while in the world of Human Resources.

Paul’s impact was multifaceted. It was professional, striving towards excellence in all that was done particularly in staff care and development in the charity sector. It was personal, being convinced that care and development happens one life at a time, person to person; and it was spiritual, knowing that true and full transformation can only happen with God’s power.

His recurring prayer ‘to be a blessing to those he came into contact with’ expressed itself in his smile, his (often inappropriately timed) laugh, his inquisitiveness about the lives of friends and strangers and his desire to see all of them continue on their spiritual journey and come to know God in ever-deeper ways.

After God, Paul’s delight and priority were Lesley, Charis and Joel whom he loved more than life. He was their coach, their advocate and friend and his greatest pleasure was seeing them grow into the people God called them to be. The ‘bride of his youth delighted him all his days’ as increasingly day by day he realised exactly the amazing woman she was and the blessing she was to him.

The pains and struggles that are common to man may have knocked him along the way, but never knocked him from the arms of his Saviour and Friend."

Thanks for reading!

Agapé School of Movement Building

Paul: you may have picked up along the way that Lesley has been working towards the launch of the Agapé School of Movement Building for quite a while now. Well, the launch was a couple of weeks back and the write-up just appeared in "Agapé News" so I thought I'd steal it and copy it into here. Here's what it said:


In January a handful of staff got together for the launch of the all new Agapé School of Movement Building. This is a training program which lasts two and a half years. It aims to develop a generation of Agapé staff who are fully equipped to build spiritual movements at the University.

"The question we asked ourselves was; how do we make sure we have effective movement building teams?" says Lesley, who has helped to develop the school. The answer has been to build up strong leaders. "I looked around the room and thought 'these are such quality guys!' And they're stepping up to the task of leadership, which is such a huge need."

The course is taught through a combination of personal coaching, assignments and field experience. New leaders will learn how to pioneer movements in new places, how to raise up leaders among students, how to think creatively about sharing the gospel in relevant ways, how to build strong spiritual communities, and finally, how to enthuse their movements with God's heart for global mission.

The two day launch has been a great success with inspiring teaching and a strong sense of community spirit. The sessions focussed on the heart of leadership: the servant, the shepherd and the steward. There were also guests - staff from New Zealand who had come to share how God is working with students there. And the whole thing ended up with good discussion in a local pub! One of the staff said: "It's so exciting to be part of a people who are all on the same journey of becoming leaders. The teaching was all good, and I've already changed the way I do things as a result."

This class will be graduating in 2011 but from the start, expectation of what God is doing has been high. Lesley added, "there's a sober realisation of the responsibility that's being entrusted, and each person wanted to honour God in the way the lead."


So; there you have it. If you want to catch more of the same, do see the news pages of the Agapé website: www.agape.org.uk/news.html

On a more general note, we're having an interesting life. In consecutive weeks since Christmas Lesley has:

• Had her laptop stolen (but we did get the stolen car back, if you hadn't heard!)
  
• Had someone drive into the side of her car (not a good year for cars)
  
• Spent a morning in A&E after nearly removing 2 fingers putting up a trampoline (they're on the mend now)
  

All good fun, but it's getting a bit silly now. Lesley put her facebook status as "Life is officially ridiculous" after the finger-incident. Kinda sums it up really.

Fireseeds

Paul: Did you have a good New Year? Ours seemed rather brief as we were getting ready to head out to a long weekend with Agape staff and others involved in our movement from around Europe. We didn't make it to the end of the time. I'd planned to come back on Sunday with the kids - trying to explain to them that going to school is a legal requirement was a tricky thing - and Lesley ended up coming back too, having spent the previous day and a half in bed with the flu (that everyone seems to have had). Not fun at the best of times but really rough while at a conference! But even from my brief time, I wanted to let you in on a couple of my experiences.

We had some great people come and join us to give input. Probably my fave was Krish Kandiah (Exec. Dir. "Churches in Mission" for the EA) who was speaking about dominoes. He was talking about the TV show "Record Breakers" and in particular the domino challenges where some poor soul spent weeks lining up 30 zillion dominoes top see if he could beat the record for the most dominoes to topple in succession. The thing that always happened was somewhere along the line, one domino wouldn't fall and as a result, thousands of others didn't topple over. I was really challenged by the perspective that I came to faith as a result of this unbroken chain of people through the generations who have passed on their faith to others and to successive generations. The challenge of this comes down to me: Am I going to be that domino that doesn't topple over - that doesn't share what I know and believe with others? Getting a generational perspective on this has unsettled me. It's a good thing.

The other thing that impacted me was some of the folk who showed up. I was praying with this guy on Saturday eve, who was just desperate to re-ignite the passion he used to have for both God and the stuff God wanted him to be doing, but somewhere in the midst of university life, it has gently dissipated. Straight after that I was walking back to our halls with another couple of students, both about to finish their courses in a few months time. It was so refreshing to chat to these two. It wasn't the normal "dunno what I wanna do" type chat: They were highly focused in their decision making: "How can I make my life count most significantly for God's purposes?" It was a real privilege to have this passing contact with all three of their lives.

It's funny going to these kind of conferences as "staff". I was expecting God's role to be to speak to delegates.